So strange. This lockdown. Such world wide effects.
Yet here on the hill all Time stands still.
Only the media keeping us connected to the chaos outside.
When I do not watch/listen all is fine.
All is good.
I venture out on our bi-weekly shopping trips as if going to war.
But it is unlike any war I could have envisioned.
Empty streets. Confused people.
All doing as demanded. All socially distant.
Fearful of each other, yet being polite. So polite.
I smile and say “Doing the doesy-do” as we side step each other.
I approach these trips out with trepidation.
Gloves. Check. Scarf, Check. Han Sanitizer. Check.
On return all the shopping/car is wiped down.
Goods all put in quarantine.
Our shops are 21 miles away.
Why do I feel guilty if I stop for a short wander on a deserted hill, along a deserted shore?
Not touching anything except my camera?
The programming is working.
Hard to ignore the death toll.
Hard to ignore too the insessant advertizing of digital products on our mainstream TV.
“Use ‘Team’, all the proffessionals are.”
The laughing families connecting on this gadget or another.
The endless online occupations for bored people in houses.
Email after email inviting me to join with Zoom, yoga, meditation, chat rooms….
Whatever did we do before the advent of the internet?
Would it really be so bad to sit and read, and draw, and wander, to make space to dream a little? To garden, to cook, to wander with no desitination, to rise with the sun and go to bed at dusk?
So bad to worry? Perhaps to pray?
Alone. Without being seen? Without being witnessed?
I guess the dependance was already in place.
I see it in this blog, my own distracted use of facebook.
My children’s sticky screens.
My husband’s new love of old shows on the TV….and ‘Judge Judy’.
Endless Judge Judy and ‘how to’ mechanical videos.
Like there is no ‘outside’ anymore.
Here where all this spring beauty and space just begs for us all to wake up to it…..
I guess many are forgetting how to just be.
“It’s the devil makes work for idle hands.’
I do my share of digital connecting too. Not innocent. but today has been a good day.
I started another sourdough loaf, to bake later.
I dug out 30 or so bramble root balls to try and stop it taking over the whole bank.
I watered my seedlings and sang to them.
I listened to the birds and sat by our tiny pond a while. Tadpole watching.
I meditated for an hour and envisioned only the good of the whole.
Offering hands and asking ‘Show me’.
I thought about Death quite alot.
I find myself thinking quite a bit about Death these strange days.
Cycles. Creation/Destruction. Beginnings and Endings.
“Beause the Earth is round there is no beginning and no end.” I wrote.
We phoned Granny today. It is her birthday. She is 86 years old.
I guess she also thinks about death quite a bit too.
It is my brother’s birthday also.
I dug up some old pictures of us when we were kids and sent them to him on messenger.
Experiencing such waves of nostalgia. So precious Life.
I went out on Earth Day and sang a song to the alder trees, by the burn.
To share with all dear Treesisters who are ‘Singing for the Trees’ today.
‘All connected through the forest floor.’
I prefer this way of connecting to this digital connection.
I cut my own hair. Badly.
So let my husband shave it all off again.
Now this is a pandemic haircut!
Wonder how many are making a similar choice?
I am working on more illustrations, in mud.
I have a new challenge from the local art group.
Funny how that fits exactly with a picture I have been dreaming up for so long now. Think I will spend some Time, later, working that up, before getting on with cooking tea.
A curry tonight I think…..
Mainly I have been just gazing in awe at the rampant march of Spring all around.
The leaves burst out such a brillant green.
Oh how they shine!
We have had exceptional weather these last weeks….the air so dry. Unusually dry.
I feel it on my skin.
This easterly wind blowing all the Fear, of the main continent, our way.
I have had to moisturize, hydrate and water the garden everyday.
But somehow the leaves on the trees keep shining.
Their roots going down deep into the, until recently saturated, Earth.
Stunning in the sunsets we have have also been blessed with.
Let’s all keep shining our light. Turn over a new leaf.
Root down, while reaching for the sky.
And rest in just knowing we are all connected, whether the screens are on ….. or off.
I have dug out an old flower press and found these daffodils, pressed by my son, years ago.
So fragile and precious.
Thought I’d have a play with them.
And now here she is.
A wee smiling daffodil fairy.
In all her finery.
Sending love to all from this place on Earth, as the daffodils outside now also fade, replaced by blossom and startling greens.
Or perhaps this one…..