rotten grass becomes fireflies 25/72

(working as part of a ‘Japanese 72 season micro-climate’ artist collaborative initiative within Treesisters)

Japanese season called ‘Boshu’/ . Grain beards and seeds 6th June until 20th June .
Micro climate ‘rotten grass becomes fireflies’ 11th – 15th June.

I LOVE this title.
Somehow it describes so much of my journey.
My gift is to turn the ‘burden into abundance’…..and never has this felt more valuable than now.
I live my life on the compost heap!
Examining every immediate layer, inside and out, forking it all over, letting the air in and letting it all break down into something new.

Working only with what I have already got. What presents.

And creating out of that a nurturing space for tiny, hopeful, seeds to grow out of what is ‘old’ and ‘past’.

I have been working so hard on my trailer that the days have blurred and I am 3 days late with this entry…

My core timeline these last weeks has become ‘trailer, trailer, trailer’….and it has to be so if I am to complete in time.

A time of self discipline and hard work.

So little space for creative dreaming.


But I did find time to write this this morning as part of another online conversation I am having….

“I also see a network of connecting threads around the planet and have experienced certain ‘lights’ getting ‘switched on’. As more and more ‘lights’ get ‘switched on’ the ‘grid’ of protection grows stronger. I believe this grid is getting stronger by the day as individuals tune in to these higher vibrations.
Perhaps this grid counter acts 5G? I hope so, as this IS happening!

My journey yesterday was a telling of the history of FIRE.
And how humans became hypnotised by its power and how, when our ancestors learned to use it, they just did not know when to stop and ceased to be in right relationship with it.
Forgetting to thank, to show respect, forgetting to use its power for good, with the advent of metal alchemy and the forge.
They forced FIRE into slavery to create weapons and jewellery to adorn our, now god-like, bodies….now almost everything that is bad for this world, plastic, transport, indeed, almost all the stuff we surround ourselves with, is fire-derived and we are still not thankful! Most of the time the majority are not even aware that this is the case, and totally disconnected from it’s essence!!
Significant ‘others’ control it and harness it to production.
FIRE was supposed to be about protection and now ‘we’ have taken the piss so extremely. Carried away with our childish delights and the power that it gave us over nature…..even at the same time controlling the fires that naturally regenerate the forests!
And so the WATER rises….as she re-balances….
I was left with the instruction to pay more attention and as I wandered around my home viewing ‘all that is home’. I saw each item ‘born of fire’ in flames!! My home was literally burning! Nearly everything! So I blew gently on it all (not to fan it but to ease it’s fury!) and visualised crying over it it all to cool it all down….and most importantly….showing respect, and I have to say, in this case, rather reluctantly, gratitude, for the FIRE that bore it.
I have the line ‘….after all…ALL our mothers warned us not to play with fire….’ running around my brain.
Happily, I also ‘see’ so many more ‘right relationship’ fires being lit.
People returning to the wild and truly appreciating fire for the warmth and light it gives us.
More sacred fires being lit. More prayer candles. And this brings hope….

On a side line it took me to examine more closely my continued addiction to smoking. 

Yes, one of those hypocritical environmentalists….wholly flawed and visibly conflicted…..I smoke rolling tobacco like an old Indian lady smokes her bidis in the Himalayas….it keeps the midges at bay when I commune with nature, or am working outside, and is my ‘last’ vice (other than being human!) and I hang onto it like a a strange ‘death’ raft!
I struggle with this enormously.
I can see all the destruction that the tobacco industry is responsible for, but I feel like I have to keep this connection with fire close to me.
I return each butt to the Earth with an awareness and a prayer.
(Rollie butts actually FEED the Earth and contain few harmful compounds to compost).
I also find that such a visible flaw feeds humbleness and connects me to many that find ‘the whole striving for perfection’ thing a bit much, so am enabled to take the whole conversation into some very unlikely places! I am trusted as I wear this badge of imperfection.
Sometimes I feel like I take this poison FOR the rest of humanity!
In full awareness…..
Potentially I am choosing how I die…..by fire ( if it was possible in the UK….I would also choose to be cremated under an open sky, Hindu style, in the event of my death ) 

Divine Timing, that wonderful instructor, came in finding smoking paraphernalia in my son’s school bag yesterday too…

I am listening….I ran out of tobacco this morning….but do not think I can fight it’s call….yet….not while I need to push on with my work.”



The day I was so looking forward to, the day I cut out the original old roof, has passed with no fanfare…only onward. In a series of tiny steps. There is a rhythm to building. I am learning not to obsess about the next step until the step I am currently working on is compete. At least, with all this rain, I know that, at last, the recycled coffee table, glass sky-light is now water tight!

Each evening , after feeding the family, I collapse. My body exhausted.
But I feel happy and my head is full of the next days plans and tweaks and corrections and new ideas as to how to proceed.

My daily meditation practise is also evolving. This is what keeps me going and how I begin each day.

These rainy days mean I have returned to sitting practise inside more often, although often called to stand. This is what gives me strength.

I thought this month I would make a short video of the intuitive moments that are becoming a kind of yogic dance for me….they only form a small part of my 30 minute practise.
I am so empowered and strengthened by this self-styled ritual!
There are some mistakes in the captions and the angle is less than flattering…. I also do not normally wear jeans to meditate, but these are my work clothes…and this is what gets me up and out there!

Making the time to come to centre and connect in this way with our dear Earth, even if less tangibly, is keeping me on track and reminding me daily why I am attempting this…..this fulfilment of a long held vision.
In these simple moments I set and hold the intention.
A vision that few, but me can yet share, but, at last, I AM DOING IT! Hurrah for me!
Building my tiny gallery with a heart.

The garden is glowing….they say that through the cracks the light gets in…in the cracks between our paving such a glow has self seeded! My favourite kind of gardening.

The kind where it is more about what you leave than what you take away.

(The chair, and its matching blue companion, were found on the community dump! Such a waste and really quite trendy and comfortable outdoor furniture despite their plasticity!)

Solstice is coming fast upon us. That tipping point. I listened to my beloved Treesister’s Full Moon call and feel the power of light spurring me on.

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