fish swim upstream (fish emerge from the ice) (3/72)

(working as part of a ‘Japanese 72 season micro-climate’ artist collaborative initiative within Treesisters)

Japanese season called ‘Risshun’ / the beginning of spring, 4th February –18th February
Micro climate ‘fish swim up stream’ or ‘fish emerge from the ice’. 14th February – 18th February.

Never have I felt like I was swimming upstream as much as now.

Such familial turmoil.

It felt like the right time to really tackle so much of the unsaid and suppressed with regard to our family’s relationship problems.
I felt strong and clear about everything after my trip away.
All I have really learned was that all my fears are correct. Things came to dramatic head with father, husband and youngest son….but at least, at last, I felt I was being heard….

Then, on the 15th February, this happened……

My husband’s garage business suffered a fierce industrial fire and my yurt was in it.
Taking it OUT of his garage was on the to-do list for that day. Such cruel timing.
All at a time when we were not getting on at all and just as I really felt I was, at last getting somewhere with my art project and with getting to the root of our problems.

Gutting for all concerned.

Our local garage business plot is directly adjacent to our house plot, so it really is a blessing that we still have our house and that no-one was hurt. The local fire brigade were total heroes and heroines, but we have lost our main income and my husband has lost his business that took over 30 years to build up.

The smell of this kind of fire lingers everywhere, making me feel so sick.

So the long journey with insurance commences and I have nothing left to do but keep on with my earth loving dreams in this oil sump disaster zone.

We always were like water and oil, me and him. Wood and Metal. Somehow held together by our differences, a great sense of humour and our boys. Truly ‘Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance’. He is coping with it all so well and I find myself admiring his resilience and courage and not for the first time.

We can only see this all as an opportunity, not a disaster, and needless to say this tragedy has been somewhat galvanising, pardon the engineering pun!

I intend to rip the remaining tarp into canvases for related work and collect all the premium quality charcoal, that ‘Yurtle’s’ remaining ‘ribs’ have become, to use in a commemorative ritual and for drawing.

It was good to escape into the artden again and work. I had these small wasp byke (nest) paper ‘canvases’ and had done a couple of salmon jumping curiosities as Christmas presents, so wanted to try again, a slightly different way, for this ‘season’ as it seemed to fit.

‘fish swim upstream’
on wasp spit and wood pulp paper

So grateful for all that remains.

Exciting ‘tent replacement’ plans are, already, well under way.

It has been established that the fire started in a customers car, so looking positive on the insurance front.

So upstream we fight, against the flow, but sure to find the spawning ground eventually….. if we just all keep on swimming……

(While proofing my blog this morning, I stumbled upon this old recording of one of my few original songs….the second verse refers to a meeting with a salmon, who was’fighting ‘gainst the flow’…. click to listen on YouTube)

I hitched a ride

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